Scheana Shay and Tom Sandoval arrive to the 2018 E! People’s Choice Awards held at the Barker Hangar on November 11, 2018.Photo:Charley Gallay/E! Entertainment/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty

Scheana Shay and Tom Sandoval arrive to the 2018 E! People’s Choice Awards held at the Barker Hangar on November 11, 2018

Charley Gallay/E! Entertainment/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty

Scheana Shayis reflecting on her complex feelings towardsTom Sandovalamid the fallout of#Scandoval.

On the latest episode of herScheananiganspodcast, theVanderpump Rulesstar, 38, opened up about how her friendship with Sandoval, 40, has changed in light of him cheating on hisgirlfriend of nine years,Ariana Madix— who is also Shay’s best friend — with costarRaquel Leviss.

“I never thought he was a bad guy,” she shared. “He was one of my best friends for almost 15 years. He was the only person who had my back on this show, who fought for me whenever something was unfair and he was the person there in my corner.”

Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Scheana Shay at the ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Reunion.Nicole Weingart/Bravo

Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Scheana Shay

Nicole Weingart/Bravo

She continued, “I have personally really struggled with all this because I’m like, ‘Yes, you did a really bad thing. But you weren’t a bad friend to me. But then what you have done has affected me, so it’s just changed the entire dynamic of our group.”

“Wednesday filming was beyond the most emotionally draining day I have ever had in 11 seasons ofVanderpump Rules,” Shay said. “My eyelashes hurt from how much I cried that day, my contacts were dry, I was congested, I felt weak in every way possible.”

Tom Sandoval and Scheana Shay on ‘Vanderpump Rules’.Casey Durkin/Bravo

Tom Sandoval and Scheana Shay on Vanderpump Rules

Casey Durkin/Bravo

She recalled how their conversation during the retreat was “not easy” because of their longtime friendship and what had happened last season, and seemingly went on to addressprevious criticism after Sandoval was featuredon her Instagram during the trip.

“I don’t like what he did to Ariana obviously,” she said. “Him and I have had a really long friendship so everyone always [says], ‘Oh Scheana, the flip-flopper, Scheana needs to have loyalty,’ and losing a friendship of that long has obviously been a struggle.”

“But Team Ariana,” she added. “She’s my girl.”

The “Good as Gold” singer previously addressed a fan who suggested that she had forgiven Sandoval after he appeared in her Instagram Story, saying, “Who said all is forgiven?? We are all here forLisa [Vanderpump]."

After she also received criticism for smiling in a cast photo with an arm wrapped around Sandoval, she took to Instagram to set the record straight again.

Lala Kent, James Kennedy, Katie Maloney, Ariana Madix, Andy Cohen, Lisa Vanderpump, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Scheana Shay.Nicole Weingart/Bravo via Getty Images

VANDERPUMP RULES Reunion Lala Kent, James Kennedy, Katie Maloney, Ariana Madix, Andy Cohen, Lisa Vanderpump, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Scheana Shay

Nicole Weingart/Bravo via Getty Images

“I don’t know why I feel the need to defend taking a photo with my hand like this,” Shay said in a video in bed with costarLala Kent, who was also part of the Lake Tahoe trip.

“People are so stupid. It still blows my mind that people still don’t realize we’re filming a show. And it was that girl’s birthday!” Kent responded. “What are we gonna say? Like, no?”

“We’re in a group, we’re all here,” Shay explained. “We hopped in a photo, you know what, I happened to be standing where I was standing. We take photos with strangers every f—ing day.”

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A premiere date for season 11 ofVanderpump Ruleshas not been announced, but seasons 1–10 can be streamed in full on Peacock.

source: people.com